Bad Spoon

we have a winner!

2009-12-15T01:59:33Z

I know, my bedroom is boring. I'll pick out my wallpaper as soon as I find one I like. But anyway, look - we picked out a bed finally! We ended up going with the storage bed. The frame itself is hideous so I have to do some textile-browsing at the fabric store, we will reupholster it this summer. It's pretty awesome though, so much things fit inside. You just lift up the little handle and the mattress comes up. The mattress we bought is like twice the size of our old one so I can't even lift it on my own. But see?

I spent all day putting this in order. We had boxes of books, mostly sheet music in the storage basement that we haven' t been able to properly arrange until now.

I filed them according to instrument, and if we have a large collection, by composer.

I don't know why but he has a large collection of pipes I didn't know what to do with. So I used more of my pasta jars. Sometimes I wonder if people will think an old man and a little girl live here.

And his first edition Hardy Boys. This is where we differ drastically in our personality. Everything in our house pretty much belongs to him. I arrange it, I clean it up, I keep it in order - but it's all his. I don't care to "keep" stuff. I don't develop affection or attachment to things. If I desire something, it's to make my life easier - not so that I can own it for the sake of owning it.

This table for instance, I lusted after. We have a small place and it's very very practical. It folds so you can tuck it away when you're not using it, or expand when you want it bigger. I had my family over for a dinner party a few weeks ago for BK's birthday and we all fit on it. If you don't use place mats you can fit 8 people no problem.

Rabat dorm

2009-08-31T12:18:57Z

The entrance/exit to my dorm room. If I had any hair I can be like Rapunzel. Now, I'm a very simple traveller. I'm used to roughing it. I never imagined taking a luxurious vacation in Africa of all places. My housing is beautiful, so so lovely. I have one roommate and we share a washroom. We have a sink and mini fridge.

It's too hot to do anything yet. I did some groceries and tried to walk around but I had to give up, I'm dying of heat. Communicating is funny. There's a girl I travelled with, her Arabic is better than her French. So she'd speak in Arabic and I'd fill it in with French if she doesn't know the words. It's hilarious.

A few students are participating in Ramadan. I will not be.

one day in france

2009-08-31T08:25:07Z

The french make rubbish pizza. Yuck.

Morocco has funny keyboards.

england

2009-08-29T19:04:56Z

One day in England.

My aunt lives in the quaintest little English village. I spent the morning with her and her boyfriend, hiking the countryside. We picked wild berries and ate them. Yummy.

Hippies come on these hills to clebrate solstice. I don't know why there's a sacrificed bunny, but - poor little guy.

Btw it's completely normal to walk around town and see horses. They ride horses everywhere here.

Then we went to the beach, at Worthing.

This is the English Channel waters.

I think my aunt is so beautiful. and not just cause she's letting me stay at her house. Somebody told me once they think the women in my family, especially my mom n sisters are beautiful. But i think my Tita's the gorgeousest. She's over 50 yeras old too and barely any wrinkles.

badspoon @ 2009-08-28T10:24:00

2009-08-28T14:27:55Z

Oh, sweet. I phoned my insurance company and they gave me local numbers for different countries I'll be in. It's in case of health emergencies, I just call the local number and they cover everything over $200. So if I fall off a cliff and need to be air-lifted, they'll pay for the helicopter and hospital treatment. But if I sprain my ankle and need to be bandaged up, I have to pay for it myself. That's kinda funny.

The Fly

2009-08-26T22:14:08Z

I saw The Fly for the first time the other day. I was never allowed to watch it, now I know why. It was scary.

Funny that the friggin' CN tower is in perfect view. Toronto looked so different in the 80s. And Jeff Goldblum was quite attractive when he was young. I've always liked that tall, long, lanky body type, it's my favourite. It's the best body type for cuddling, it really is. If a man has too broad an upper body I find it hurts my neck and I don't enjoy it at all. I guess what looks good doesn't always feel good.

I think that's where we differ most in our enjoyment of one another. Women's bodies are mostly enjoyed visually. "She has nice boobs," or whatever. And men can get satisfaction from that. Millions of dollars are spent on magazines and films for men's visual enjoyment of the female body. It puzzles me why men are so interested in breasts, it's really not that useful to a grown man. But for women, men's bodies need to actually serve a real purpose. Yeah, yeah it's great that you have a six-pack but are you gonna hold me in my sleep? I admire the male body but I can't enjoy it simply by looking at it. It has to actually be of some use to me.

badspoon @ 2009-08-21T11:57:00

2009-08-21T15:57:19Z

I would kill for Pearl Jam tickets right now.

badspoon @ 2009-08-20T14:22:00

2009-08-20T18:23:55Z

Forgive my ignorance but I really don't understand what the anger is all about. Don't you Americans want health care?? Health care's awesome.

badspoon @ 2009-08-17T00:20:00

2009-08-17T04:33:43Z

I had another driving lesson the other night. For the life of me I couldn't understand what the clutch did. We sat in the coffee shop for 45 mnts. while he tried to explain about "engine pancakes." Like I'm supposed to understand what he means. I have no idea when or why I'm supposed to use it. To me its purpose is indiscernible from the brake's. Do they not do the same thing? Then he came up with another analogy, and put my hand around his penis. He said if you squeeze and create friction and the friction is blah blah blah something to do with the wheel and the engine. I still don't understand, I think it was just an excuse for me to touch his penis.

We laughed about it all night. I'd just seen "forgetting sarah marshall" and I remember thinking about how much I've developed a sense of (penis) humour. When I was younger I probably wouldn't have found that funny, but I was on the floor - holy cow, it was hilarious. I also realized that I've regrettably gotten more worried about sex as I age. When you're young and you first become sexually active - and like, you're horrible in bed it's okay. You can chalk it up to inexperience. There's plenty of opportunities in the future to get better. So I never worried about if I was good or terrible - no one told me I was terrible so I assumed I wasn't terrible. But like, if after a decade already and I still was terrible in bed, I'd feel like shit about myself. 'Cause I had all that time to learn and I didn't. Also, it's easy enough to have good sex if it's a short-term thing. The honeymoon phase lasts like, several months. Several months of good sex is highly attainable. But years and years and years, oh! I'm worried that he's getting bored. How can this still be exciting? All the time I wonder if he's bored with me, it's terrible for my self-esteem. So I'm careful not to find too much security in his commitment to me. Just 'cause he's made it clear he's sticking around, doesnt mean the effort ends on my part. I still have to work for it, I still have to shave my legs and be presentable before bed.

my new tattoo

2009-08-05T20:58:35Z

...in 3 years.

It's the Celtic symbol for sisters. Works really well 'cause there are 3 swirls and there's 3 of us. It's Chie's idea. I said if she gets one, I want one too. Then Bren says if we get one, she wants one too. So when our youngest turns 16 we'll all get one together.

I have 3 bars already on my chest - people always ask me what it means and I've never told. None of your fucking business is what it means. It's personal. I never ask people what their tattoo means. But it's that.

Art and Martha's Superfunawesome Mini Road Trip

2009-08-04T02:52:58Z

Day 1: Kayaking the Grand River in Brantford

I actually reserved the 6-hour paddle from Glen Morris to Brantford but there was some misforecasting with the weather report - we expected thunder storms so we cancelled but it turned out to be nice so we dashed down there. Ended up doing the shorter 3 hour paddle from Paris. I didn't even get that tired. It's not a fun trip unless you get really tired and sore, that's the best.

We stopped at this island for lunch and outdoor sex. I really think people should only have sex outdoors, it's so much funner than indoors. The rocks hurt, though.

My hastily prepared poor excuse for a cobb salad. Avocado, beets, corn and peppers. I loooooove beets. Beets and avocado, can't beat that combo.

Ben: I don't think I'm that attractive.

me: I know, you're pretty fucking ugly.

Ben: 'Cause I'm just realizing that every girl who liked me wears glasses or contacts. So maybe they thought I was attractive but actually they just have bad eyesight.

me: That's right! I'm practically blind.

Ben: So it's true, girls only think I'm attractive 'cause they can't see my face. Can you see my face? Do you know what I really look like?

me: You're a funny person.

Sometimes I don't believe there's such a thing as a Ben but I'm glad there is. He has such funny things to say to me.

Then we went swimming in Brant Conservation Park. It was cold and windy, I had purple lips after. It's weird to have a swimming pool in a conservation park, right? I thought it was weird. This was my third try, the wind kept knocking me over.

Day 2: Tubing at Elora Gorge

I don't actually have any pictures of the gorge, I have to develop them first. I bought one of those disposable water cameras. But take my word for it, it was BEAUTIFUL. The rapids were so much fun and I saw a beaver. Or I think it was a beaver, its back was turned to me.

His tube's so much bigger than mine. I think they gave me a child's tube.

Weeee! My plan to take pictures on the road didn't really work out very well. Holding a camera at 140km/h is harder than it sounds.

We went back and forth with our weekend plans. We actually intended to drive/take the train to Montreal, I even made hostel reservations. But we've both been there before and plus we live in the city, we don't wanna go to another city for vacation. We figured we'd be bored there so we scrapped it and made last minute changes. The ironic part is I get bored in a city with a million people to meet and a million things to do. But put me in a canoe in the middle of nowhere, and that's how I enjoy myself.

starbucks gift cards are evil

2009-07-31T17:09:46Z

I got a Starbucks gift card as a thank you for babysitting someone's cat for a few days. I hardly walk into Starbucks but I used it to buy pumpkin scones and Tazo green tea iced tea, now I'm hooked. It's so addictive and refreshing. It's been like 3 weeks since I used up my gift card but I'm still going in there every morning. What a great marketing scheme.

minor renos

2009-07-29T15:38:16Z

We're fixing up the place bit by bit. Mostly finding ways for efficient space-saving solutions. My place is so small that it can easily look cluttered. We installed some cabinets in the hallway and in the bathroom. But my favourite - and hardest work to do, was the closet.

It used to have two hanger shelf thingies. I took it down a few months ago and he installed a lower shelf underneath. We simply downsized with clothing. All his stuff's on top , all my stuff's on the bottom.

And these little boxes are great, they're like $4 each from Ikea.

It looks messy right now but whatever. He put the shelf and the mirrors up and I sit here and get ready. it's never made sense to me to have so much stuff in the bathroom. This works better 'cause I just shower, brush my teeth, then go to my closet and everything's there. I don't have to run back and forth. That way the bathroom sink cabinet is filled only with towels, where they belong. And you're not going "oh shit, I didn't bring a towel!"

It was only hard to do because I was using the table for something else and I had to free up the table which means I had to install a cabinet, blah blah blah. And this wall is made of brick which isn't easy to drill so he had to get a special drill. But still, even if it took long I feel lucky 'cause I can just say to someone "do this" and it happens. Eventually. I love my closet, it's the perfect closet ever.

weekend

2009-07-28T00:48:42Z

Friday night we went to the Drake to see The Wet Spots. They're a duo who sings raunchy sex songs. My personal favourite: "Do You Take it Up the Ass." Oh my god, so funny. They have an opening ritual where they get all the audience to raise their right hand and with the left, grab the crotch of the person next to you. So we were standing there with our hands in the air holding each other's crotches, it was hilarious. I've never held his crotch in public legally before.

We took fun photos a the photo booth but it didn't turn out. Sucky. We were almost late 'cause I was being difficult about something. His text the next day:

"You are worth all the trouble you cause me. I had a good time last night."

I saved and locked it on my phone. Gonna show it to him next time he gets frustrated with me, haha.

Saturday night was I think the best way to have a date: backwards. We came home from work, ate dinner, had sex, took a nap. And around 10:30 woke up and craved ice cream so we went for Dutch Dreams. I haven't had it in a while, we actually took only 5 mnts. to gobble this up, yummmmm. Believe it or not, when I used to live next door to this place I actually lost weight. Even though we'd eat here twice a week, we were insanely addicted.

Uh-oh poor sheeps. They made a rug out of you.

Sunday morning was breakfast at IKEA then raiding mom's garden for fresh (and free) produce.

We were watching this show on the food network and it was filmed on an island in Wales and people forage for food. They're foragers. I thought, hey that's what I am! I totally love foraging. Whenever we go on vacation I just eat stuff I see. I'm still, at the most basic level playing out my hunter-gatherer instincts. My friend Ayelet was with me when we harvested, and she's like "I just ate $15 worth of raspberries."

Her grapes are still unripe. Maybe next month I'll harvest... I don't know when these things ripen, unlike my mother I'm no gardener.

Pears! I was looking forward to her peaches but the yield wasn't good this year.

Btw, my cousin doesn't even know my name. I'm "the other Auntie" but he calls Ben "da-da." It's not taught, iin fact I discourage it. I don't think it's a good idea to turn every positive male figure in your life into a father-figure. I'm happy with Uncle Ben who's nice and plays fun games. He doesn't have to step into the father role every time, that's reserved for his own children. My little sister was the same in the beginning, she loved pretending we were her mom and dad, and she'd call him Daddy. But she knew it was for play, and she's always called me "mama" since she was a baby, so - its a natural extension. And she grew out of it quickly.

what?!

2009-07-24T17:57:05Z

And she paints?!

I officially have a girl-crush on Charlyne Yi. Who looks like my sister:

That's weird, probably.

conversations you have with your bf...

2009-07-24T14:58:39Z

when youv'e had too much wine.

bk: No, I feel like I have to reassure you a lot.

me: What do you mean, you think I'm insecure?

bk: No, you're sensitive. I wouldn't use the word insecure. You just need a lot of validation from me.

me: Ok do you know that story about Narcissus and the river?

bk: Yes. The boy looks into the river and gets so enamoured with himself, he falls in and drowns.

me: There's another part to that. After the boy drowned, the river starts crying. The nymph asked the river why she's weeping and the river said, "I miss the boy who looked into me everyday." The nymph says, "why? he doesn't come to appreciate you, he comes to appreciate only himself." The river says "I miss him for each time he looked upon his reflection I can see myself in his eyes." The river has no way of being aware of herself. Someone had to come along and reflect the river's beauty to itself, otherwise how is she to know she's beautiful? It's not that I need you to reassure me of my inner beauty, I just need you to come along and reflect it. Otherwise, how can I know?

bk: I'm gonna kiss you, I think.

me: Ok! Go!

It's been on my mind for a while because I had a talk with a friend who's thinking of beaking up with her boyfriend because he doesn't bring out the best in her. I guess in relationships some boyfriends are trick mirrors, reflecting only the ugly parts of you so that eventually, you're fooled into thinking you are ugly. Um, I don't know. I definitely don't think your boyfriend can give you beauty, or ugliness - they can't reflect what isn't there. Maybe some people are lucky and they don't need to see their reflection to be aware of themselves. I'm not that enlightened. I need someone to show me who I am.

Paper Heart

2009-07-22T15:11:28Z

Finally, a rom-com that doesn't star Zoey Deschanel. I really like Charlyne Yi, she has a sweet adorableness. She reminds me of my sister, they look so much alike. Can't wait to see this!

edit: Oh, that's why. She's half-filipina. They have almost the exact same birthdays, too. That's funny.

the day known as funday

2009-07-21T15:52:48Z

Archery at the castle.

I'm thinking of getting my own archery set and leave it at my mom's house. The problem is my sister's left-handed (like her mom and dad) so she wouldn't be able to use it anyway.

I learned from my fav tv show ever, Cities of the Underworld, that those triangle-y tiles on the floor are called herring tiles. The ruins of ancient Rome had herring tiles.

You walk through a scary friggin tunnel to get there.

I do love marble floors. Doesn't mean I'll get crazy and start installing them in my bathroom though. That reminds me, sometimes I think people don't understand that I can like something without wanting it for myself. I went through a situation a couple of days ago - when I really liked something I didn't have, and someone accused me of being jealous of it. The world is full of beautiful things to appreciate - like a flower, you know. I don't need to pluck it to enjoy its fragrance and beauty, it's best left alone for the bees. Just because we admire it, doesn't mean we should aspire to possess it.

Hiding from me. It's not working, I see u!

On the way home I foudn this dog wandering in the street. We tied my scarf around her and led her home, gave her some water and cuddles. The kids went crazy, they quickly assumed ownership and named it "Cookie." They all wanted to keep her, she was well behaved and still a pup. But I made them help me make signs and post it around the neighbourhood. All of us walked around the block to see if the dog , ahem "Cookie" would recognize her house. We ended up finding the owner who 1. didn't recognize her dog when I asked her if she's seen it before, 2. didn't know she was missing, and 3. did not seem alarmed she was missing or grateful that she was found. But I bet if it was her blackberry that she lost and I recovered, she'd be kissing me in gratitude. I don't understand people. People suck.

On the way home from returning Cookie.

I have family visiting from New York so we had a huge bbq. I'm tired.

I am half asleep with my back turned to him.

2009-07-17T16:27:40Z

Ben: I love you. No one's ever been as much as you.

Oh BK, I want to smooch the you. Just like so:

surfing in montreal

2009-07-17T13:54:47Z

WHAT?! There's surfing in Montreal?
Sweeeeeeet!

sunset picnic

2009-07-15T22:09:29Z

Night picnics are the fun! The wine I bought from the vineyard, and some of the jam I made from strawberry picking. It turned out really well actually, I was a bit surprised. I usually don't put jam on anything, the ones they sell at the grocery store are too sweet and have a funny consistency. My jam has maybe 2 tablespoons of brown sugar (I'm not sure exactly, I never measure), lemon juice and strawberries. Some of the recipes I looked at called for 4 cups of sugar. What the fuck. Strawberries are already naturally sweet, why do you wanna go ruin the flavour by adding sugar? But honestly it's the best jam I've ever had. Very refreshing.

This reminds me of the study done on a Papua New Guinea tribe, whose population have no trace of acne. They think it's because they don't consume any processed sugar. Which makes sense. If it doesnt come from the earth we're not meant to be eating it. That's why our skin reacts badly.

my Lola's cuter than yours

2009-07-14T14:45:22Z

We went strawberry picking and she held Ben's hand up and down the strawberry fields, she's so funny. This past weekend just exhausted me. Late nights and early morning outings - I'm catching up on my rest by not leaving the house today, it's chores day. I'm gonna do some laundry then head out later tonight for our dance class.

I have a funny story about this shirt. My mom and my sister went to Boston for a July 4th parade with this Filipino organization they're with. She always buys us clothes when she goes on trips, my mom has impeccable taste when it comes to shopping for us. This time though I think she went too far. She bought Ben this baby pink polo shirt and he recoiled. We laughed about it for hours.

me: He's just being polite, he's not gonna wear that mom.

mom: What? No, it's trendy. Guys wear pink shirts now.

ben: Um, maybe guys in a different line of work.

mom: Maybe give it to Tom.

sister: He won't wear that either.

mom: You're all losers, it's such a nice shirt. And I looked all over for your size. Took me a long time to find that shirt and you're making fun of it.

ben: *feeling guilty* Oh, it's amazing! It's a beautiful shirt, Nanette, wow I love it so much. *gives her an exaggerated appreciative hug*

me: Hahaha.

mom: I hate you.

ben: I love you.

So in the end we still took home the pink polo shirt but my mom gave him this grey shirt so that she could feel she brought him a gift. It's very ill-fitting, he can't raise his arms up. It's intended for someone else, it's a size M and he's an XL. He wears it anyway to make my mom happy.

My little cousin wore these silly sandal strappy shoes to the farm. She got splinters walking through the field which I then had to painstakingly extract, so I just gave her my shoes. I went barefoot 'cause I hate strappy sandals. Shoes to me have to really comfortable - if they're even a little annoying I won't wear them, I'd rather walk around shoeless and get splinters. You know, like relationships. They have to really fit - if there's even one thing that doesn't work, I'd rather be single.

I wanna go on a roadtrip one day with a camera around my neck. And take drive-by photo shoots. I bet that would be fun.

Young coconut juice at Night Market. I was surprised to see people discard the coconut after they drank the juice. The best part is inside, you losers. I didn't wanna throw mine away so I brought it home, BK whacked it open with my sushi knife and I ate the meat.

Wine tasting at Niagara.

My friend Ayelet always wanted to go wine tasting so I went with her, not expecting to really get into it 'cause I'm not a big drinker, let alone a wine connoisseur. But whatever, I'm always willing to try new things. Our first vintner turned out to be one of the best in the Niagara area and I had a really good experience - the best wine I've ever had which isn't available at the liquor stores. I liked it so much we went to 2 more, much larger vineyards (almost a 4th but we got hungry) but it wasn't the same. The best was the first one we went to which was small but of higher quality, from my limited experience.

I didn't really get too drunk since they don't give you a whole glass and we walked around the vineyard afterward. She signed up for a membership so we made a deal that each time her wine arrives, we're gonna have a dinner party, and pair the wine with the food it goes with. Each shipment of wine comes with a littlte recipe you can follow. It's gonna be fun! We're such nerds!

deserted islands

2009-07-10T00:17:05Z

I'm on a deserted islands phase now. I've watched Cast Away, and re-read "Lord of the Flies", "Selkirk's Island" and now I'm reading "Lost Paradise: from Mutiny on the Bounty to a modern-day legacy of sexual mayhem." I shouldn't have wasted my time with Selkirk's Island, what a piece of shit book. Of course, how are you to know it's a piece of shit book until you read it. It's the story of Alexander Selkirk, a Scottish sailor whose life Robinson Crusoe was based on. I've never read such a badly written biography ever, it has no narrative, no complete sentences. So awful. Who published this crap??

However, I do really like Lost Paradise. I wouldn't say I'm "enjoying" it simply because of the subject matter. I grabbed it 'cause I was curious about Pitkern, the language spoken in Pitcairn Island where British soldiers who mutineered on the Bounty settled down with Tahitian natives. They eventually all killed each other in a fit of drunken stupor, revenge and sexual jealousy. With only one British soldier, the Polynesian women, and their children left alive. Pitkern's supposed to be some weird amalgam of Tahitian and 18th century English. But whatever - so the book is about the modern inhabitants of the island, the descendants of the sailors and native women. Seven men (of the roughly 50 people who inhabited the island) were tried for rape and sexual abuse of children in 2001. Apparently underage sex was a social norm and girls on the island were having their first children between ages 12-15. The women rallied behind the men, insisting it was consensual sex, and it's simply "Tahitian culture," there's nothing wrong with it. Because of how small the community is, 7 men being carted off to jail could cripple the island.

I haven't finished it yet but I'm very intrigued by this. There's that inexorable connection between the founding history of the island and the evolution of its modern islander culture in which paedeophelia and sexual perversion is rampant. It's got me thinking about nature vs. nurture. If all of your ancestors acquired sex through violence, is it something you perpetuate or eventually evolve out of? If no one taught you that rape is wrong, would you eventually come to realize so on your own?

Are morals an inherent instinct or a learned skill? I think it's just exactly that, an instinct. And sometimes you listen to your instincts, sometimes you don't. But I think - it's not a question of if you haven't been taught that rape is unacceptable, it's that you've been taught all your life that it is acceptable. There's nothing "natural" about the way the men on this island grew up, they were conditioned into this kind of behaviour from seeing their fathers, their uncles, their brothers. That no one, in 200 years, ever broke the cycle is the real crime.

badspoon @ 2009-07-08T12:35:00

2009-07-08T16:35:33Z

Oh, Morocco. When are you gonna be here?

cha cha cha

2009-07-08T15:49:17Z

I signed us up for another beginner dance series. We fooled around the first session 'cause we knew the basic steps. I kept telling him to rotate partners and dance with other girls 'cause there weren't enough guys but he refused. You are sometimes a very silly person, BK.